i've reviewed my blog of late. i must be the only loser around who does that... anyway, i realised the more recent posts are always about dismal stuff.i'm like what, 26 this year? and i'm behaving like a 500-year-old vampire weeping about the catastrophic loss of the horse-drawn carriage. shit. i'm too young for this shit man.
nothing in the world's going to change in the near future no matter what i rant about here. the fucked up drivers are still gonna be there. crime rates are not gonna decline. most governments are still gonna be inefficient. and hey, if you think about it, my wardrobe's still not gonna change too. seriously, if my classmates see me wearing that jumper one more time they're probably gonna flip out and stab me. but i've no inclination to spend money on clothes cause i've got no interest in those affairs.
and i always seem to sidetrack. anyway what i mean is the world changes. and so do people.
i used to think a person is defined by his possesions, that's how shallow i was. sure i drive a peugeot, but why am i so proud of it if i didn't contribute a single cent to it? and it's like that with a shitload of people out there too. i'm just lucky i've got a doting mother and a generous father. i've been meaning to give it back to her and drive the new altis, cause i think the pug is still better. but if i tell them that they'll think i'm eyeing that altis just because it's new. ...and i'm sidetracking again.
i think as long as you work hard to get whatever it is you want, you've already accomplished something. à la linkin park's what i've done and in the end (hey, just because it's a song don't make it not true. i mean the titles here, not the lyrics). and you don't even have to achieve that goal in the end. it's just a goal, and goals can change too. what matters is you worked for it.
having said that, i'd like to point out one other thing. getting a Ducati does not constitute as an accomplishment for me. it's merely my little shoutout to the world: i paid for it, you young ferrari/lamborghini driving children, not my father.
okay i'll be serious. what i really want to accomplish in this life is to visit as many places as i possibly can, live and work there for maybe 3 to 6 months, learning the culture and taking a piece of each place home with me in the form of pictures. like being a citizen of everywhere and nowhere, a person who sees the world, really sees it. yeah, that's my dream life right there.
home... i still haven't decided where that's gonna be yet. i've to take into account my imaginary offspring; what's the best form of education they're going to get, and so on and so forth. assuming my imaginary wife's cool with it.
i'm probably still gonna bitch about the potholes of my daily life, but that's just it. think of this blog as a depiction of my feelings and musings at any given moment. the feelings don't last, people. come on, get real, this isn't my whole life okay? stop looking at it that way.
i keep getting this feeling i'm on the brink of some revelation here, but i still can't see past the precipice to whatever's on the other side.
no matter, really. i've another year or so to refine and improvise my dream. and set it in motion.
and another thing. my entries always seem to get too long. i have the uncanny ability to come up with bullshit to fill up my blog posts, but the ability uncannily deserts me in exam halls when i need it most.
working on it.
maybe a smaller font size.
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