today the whole family got together for lunch. i had actually already eaten and was thinking whether to flash my 'engaged' light. but everyone else was going, and it'd reflect badly on me, so i attached myself.
while waiting for the food, tristan dropped a h-bomb.
tristan: father, from next month onwards my company will shift into the cbd area, and i will stop driving and take public transport because there aren't any carparks where i'm going.
father: !!!
renne: !!!
me: !!!
father: !!!
renne: !!!
me: !!!
##########
my immediate thoughts...
father: you want the m...
me: 我才不要!
father: lol! mini 你都不要!
hahahahaha!!! NOW he'll see the stupid mistake he made when he bought the mini! and he'll regret not getting MY car!! wahahahahaa!! and when i get my bike in the very near future, he's gonna shit a million fucking bricks! oh boy, i can't wait to see that! elle-oh-fucking-elle!! woooooot!!
##########
renne: ...so who's gonna drive the mini...?
my subsequent thoughts...tristan and renne both looked at father, and my peripherals informed me he was pointing his chin at me.
##########
well, trading the pug for the mini is a good deal. a VERY good deal in fact. and i know for a fact i can fully utilise the power since i seem to be about the only person in the family who knows it has a fucking turbo engine. barring tristan. probably.
suddenly...
waaaaaaait a minute... slow as the pug is, it ain't THAT slow. and it does offer ample comfort. with a 3k-per-year road tax plus a 3k-per-year insurance, i'll never be able to pay for it, and he knows it. and the mini is a 1.6. if i take it over i'll be condemned to spring for the much lower road tax and insurance as well, and then i'll be set so far back i'll never be able to get my bike. hmmm, it's actually a good thing he DIDN'T get me a car to trap me. smart move, old man, but i see through your ploy. hur hur hurrr...
##########
father: you want the m...
me: 我才不要!
father: lol! mini 你都不要!
laugh it off now. we'll see who's laughing soon enough.
whoo... almost died under the well-aimed artillery. good thing my operational brilliance saved me.
------------
i recently got into a little fix. a vespa was posted online for sale and i almost went for it. on the eve of the transaction a person called to seriously screw me up.
i shall not disclose bekev's name to protect his identity.
bekev: you getting a bike is it?
me: yar....
bekev: what the fuck are you thinking? why are you throwing away munny on some old scrap metal that'll get you killed? you know it's slow. you know the engine cannot make it. you know the tires cannot make it. and they're so small!
me: rela..
bekev: what relax! i know you're crazy about bikes, but you should know how dangerous they are! a car just zoom past them and they'll fucking wobble like siao!
me: i know it's junk shit. i'll ride sa..
bekev: don't fucking come and tell me you're gonna ride safely! it's not a matter of riding safely! you know there are so many fuckers out there on the road. it's not how you ride, it's how those idiots drive! that scrap metal you're getting is subject to everyone's mercy! do you want to enjoy riding or do you want to worry about dying everyday?
me: i can fi..
bekev: ya, you'll fix it. but i tell you lor. you fix one thing, then soon you're gonna have another thing to fix. then another. then another. that vespa's so old you'll never run out of things to fix! if you buy it now you'll never be able to afford your ducati. don't come and tell me you need to ride everyday so you won't lose touch with road conditions. i stopped riding for four years okay? four!!
me: brot..
bekev: and don't tell me you're afraid you won't get used to the power of the ducati lor. you will. brother, i'm worried about your safety okay? i want to ride a big bike with you in the future. you want to die before getting to ride a ducati is it?! you know how long i've been riding right? did i tell you about my friend who downgraded to a runner? he was stopped at a junction when a fucking mercedes van knocked him down okay?! he wasn't even moving okay! then he spent one week in the hospital just to see whether he'll survive. good thing he did, but he had to amputate his leg. just like that, one leg gone. you want that or not? your stupid vespa got even less power than the runner!
me: but i alrea..
bekev: brother, that's the least of your worries now. just call that fucker up and tell him you're sorry you can't make the deal. pissing him off is not a big deal. your life is. i tell you, getting a fucking ducati is only a matter of time. take your time and save up the munny. don't throw it away like this. you only have to lun! luun! luuuuuun brother!!!!
me: lol.. ok ok. you never even let me finish one single sentence! call me only start screwing me.
bekev: i'm not done yet. you come down to my place right now and i'll eat my dinner and screw you some more!
so i turned down the deal with the vespa dude. he wasn't happy, but the reason i gave him didn't really leave him with much room to maneuver. i told him my parents were worried the vespa wasn't powerful enough and they offered to buy me a duke.
well dude, i am truly sorry, if that's any consolation.
whoo... almost died under the well-aimed artillery. good thing my operational brilliance saved me.
------------
i recently got into a little fix. a vespa was posted online for sale and i almost went for it. on the eve of the transaction a person called to seriously screw me up.
i shall not disclose bekev's name to protect his identity.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
ring ring....
me: hello?bekev: you getting a bike is it?
me: yar....
bekev: what the fuck are you thinking? why are you throwing away munny on some old scrap metal that'll get you killed? you know it's slow. you know the engine cannot make it. you know the tires cannot make it. and they're so small!
me: rela..
bekev: what relax! i know you're crazy about bikes, but you should know how dangerous they are! a car just zoom past them and they'll fucking wobble like siao!
me: i know it's junk shit. i'll ride sa..
bekev: don't fucking come and tell me you're gonna ride safely! it's not a matter of riding safely! you know there are so many fuckers out there on the road. it's not how you ride, it's how those idiots drive! that scrap metal you're getting is subject to everyone's mercy! do you want to enjoy riding or do you want to worry about dying everyday?
me: i can fi..
bekev: ya, you'll fix it. but i tell you lor. you fix one thing, then soon you're gonna have another thing to fix. then another. then another. that vespa's so old you'll never run out of things to fix! if you buy it now you'll never be able to afford your ducati. don't come and tell me you need to ride everyday so you won't lose touch with road conditions. i stopped riding for four years okay? four!!
me: brot..
bekev: and don't tell me you're afraid you won't get used to the power of the ducati lor. you will. brother, i'm worried about your safety okay? i want to ride a big bike with you in the future. you want to die before getting to ride a ducati is it?! you know how long i've been riding right? did i tell you about my friend who downgraded to a runner? he was stopped at a junction when a fucking mercedes van knocked him down okay?! he wasn't even moving okay! then he spent one week in the hospital just to see whether he'll survive. good thing he did, but he had to amputate his leg. just like that, one leg gone. you want that or not? your stupid vespa got even less power than the runner!
me: but i alrea..
bekev: brother, that's the least of your worries now. just call that fucker up and tell him you're sorry you can't make the deal. pissing him off is not a big deal. your life is. i tell you, getting a fucking ducati is only a matter of time. take your time and save up the munny. don't throw it away like this. you only have to lun! luun! luuuuuun brother!!!!
me: lol.. ok ok. you never even let me finish one single sentence! call me only start screwing me.
bekev: i'm not done yet. you come down to my place right now and i'll eat my dinner and screw you some more!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
so i turned down the deal with the vespa dude. he wasn't happy, but the reason i gave him didn't really leave him with much room to maneuver. i told him my parents were worried the vespa wasn't powerful enough and they offered to buy me a duke.
well dude, i am truly sorry, if that's any consolation.
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