my lid

went for another ride today.

not as fast as yesterday, though. i happen to like the idea of being alive.

zoned out for a while...

weird happenstance #1 : had a near-death experience due to zoning out. no such thing happened yesterday. almost smashed into the rear left corner of a van. or was it front corner? can't remember.

weird happenstance #2 : prolly due to yesterday's high-octane riding, #1 seemed to happen in slow motion. i had enough time to think which way i wanted to maneuver to siam the van. even had the initiative to tilt my head to the left to siam the mirror as i zoomed past. think the driver just stun there a while.

met up with someone from camp for lunner(well, if there's such a word as brunch...) he once called me 猛將 cos of the way i ride, the paintwork on my bike, n the helmet i own. anyway, not important.

the point? i think yim's right about driving like a maniac to prepare for the day when u have a near-accident. ur reflexes might well be the only thing that saves u.

still dun like to sit in any vehicle he drives though. his driving is so perilous it over-justifies his own theory. i'd rather be in control of my own life, thanks.

my lid is where it belongs. on my shoulders.
did i disappoint you or let you down
should i be feeling guilty or let the judges frown
cause i saw the end before we'd begun
yes i saw you were blinded and i knew i had won

so i took what's mine by eternal right
took your soul out into the night
it may be over but it won't stop there
i am here for you if you'd only care

you touched my heart, you touched my soul
changed my life and all my goals
and love is blind and that i knew when
my heart was blinded by you

i've kissed your lips and held your head
shared your dreams and shared your bed
i know you well, i know your smell
i've been addicted to you

goodbye my lover
goodbye my friend
you have been the one
you have been the one for me
goodbye my lover
goodbye my friend
you have been the one
you have been the one for me

i am a dreamer and when i wake
you can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take
and as you move on remember me
remember us and all we used to be

i've seen you cry, i've seen you smile
i've watched you sleeping for a while
i'd be the father of your child
i'd spend a lifetime with you

i know your fears and you know mine
we've had our doubts but now we're fine
and i love you, i swear that's true
i cannot live without you

goodbye my lover
goodbye my friend
you have been the one
you have been the one for me
goodbye my lover
goodbye my friend
you have been the one
you have been the one for me

and i still hold your hand in mine
in mine when i'm asleep
and i will bare my soul in time
when i'm kneeling at your feet

goodbye my lover
goodbye my friend
you have been the one
you have been the one for me
goodbye my lover
goodbye my friend
you have been the one
you have been the one for me

i'm so hollow, baby, i'm so hollow
i'm so, i'm so, i'm so hollow
i'm so hollow, baby, i'm so hollow
i'm so, i'm so, i'm so hollow

i am waking up from this mental prison.

mindtrip

went to service the bike today. wasn't in the mood to engage in any kind of conversation with the guys there. took the mechanic 2+ hours just to do some basic maintenance. destroyed one of my screws n had the gall to suggest breaking the whole transmission cover.

fucking asshole. almost ripped his head off.

after that went for some riding. found the roads too congested with stupid idiotic fucked-up drivers, so switched to the highways for some velocity. think i went above 120 most of the time, but then again, i never really checked the momentum meter. discovered the fact that the roads in this country r not suitable for mood alleviation; the goddamn fuzz was in the back of my mind the whole time.

got recalled by my mother when i reached some ulu place in jurong. she wanted to have dinner with me..

*************************************
reached amk hub 20min after the call, n realized when i met her that she actually meant to buy me the phone i've wanted for so long.. with the money she won from 4d, no less.
(note : taken with the fucked-up sew710, thus the quality)

(note : taken with the 5mpixel sek850i, thus THE quality{fierce can})


din know wat to say to her..

decided to stop wallowing in self prejudice n wake up my bloody idea. the powerhouse episode din seem like that big a deal to the others anyway.

had a nice dinner with her n her one of her long-time friends. shared a couple of jokes with them, made them laugh. the least i could do for my mum.

met up with yim n wt for some cake n soda at mad jack. lent yim my bike for the first time to play along my street, n gave wt the first bike ride of her life, as claimed by the bubbly lady herself.

reached home n started snooping around the net, but just can't seem to be able to find the slow version of cascada's everytime we touch. that song damn nice can. anyway, point is, i reviewed some idiot videos i once downloaded.

OOOO DADDY! wahahahahaaaaa!!!

disclaimer: dun try to listen to this with blasting speakers. they'll tear themselves apart. mine just cui on me.. smlj....

foolishness

splitting head, palpitating heart, wobbly legs, blurry vision: effects of poison abuse.

not remembering anything when i woke up in my living room: bliss

finding out that i've made a fool of myself at st james last night: fuck..

i'm sorry, guys. i'm so sorry. i totally lost control of myself.

was that wat they call unwinding n letting out of frustrations? y din i know there was so much pent-up anger inside me? wat other monsters r there in my head? will they break free again?
too many questions.. no answers...


here i go, scream my lungs out......

broken this fragile thing now
and i can't, i can't pick up the pieces
and i've thrown my words all around
but i can't, i can't give you a reason

i feel so broken up
and i give up
i just want to tell you so you know

here i go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
you are my only one
i let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
you are my only, my only one

made my mistakes, let you down
and i can't, i can't hold on for too long
i ran my whole life in the ground
and i can't, i can't get up when you're gone

and something's breaking up
i feel like giving up
i won't walk out until you know

here i go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
you are my only one
i let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
you are my only, my only one

here i go so dishonestly
leave a note for you my only one
and i know you can see right through me
so let me go and you will find someone

here i go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
you are my only one
i let go, there's just no one, no one like you
you are my only, my only one
my only one
my only one
my only one
you are my only, my only one


thanks to law, yim, ben n bekev for watching out for me last night. i'm sorry for raging at u guys. sorry for biting yan's hand. sorry for all the retarded things i did n said. i deserved that choke-slam.

acquisitions

went to beach road to get my deathtags done. found out i din have enough moolahs for them, so walked 500 klicks to press the dough.

acquisition #1: shades
remarks: i now see the world in sepia
complaint: rained for 1 week straight since i bought the bloody shades. din get to use them... tmd..

acquisition #2: deathtags
remarks: in case of accident or death
complaint: kinda hard for someone who's in a panic to read the weird script

bekev got the nakano lid i've always dreamt about!!! OMG!!! wwhhhhhhooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa............ excites~!
fierce n cute at the same time.

lil' britain

just got woken up by mum to settle her mobile service prob. she said she couldn't receive the 4d n toto updates anymore.
called the service provider. the lady claimed the service hasn't been terminated. weird.
checked mum's inbox. not so weird anymore.

she's got 405 bloody messages in her inbox~! wat the hell.....

conclusion: can't get back to sleep. super...

*****************************************************************

visited this little place sometime during the week. went too late, light too little, so din manage to get too many pics.

lots of cars slowed down when i stood there. pussies, all of them.

once past this gate, nothing looked local, save for the road signs n markings.












temp garage

there n back again.


who trims these things?
a total of 5 cars stopped for me while i was squatting there.

emo shots i like



motion at play


transport used today. 1 bicycle n 2 cars.
my left car, n my right onerain getting heavier. 跑吧孩子!!


wat would i do different if i could go back in time?
太多的如果, 太多的遺憾
太多的抱歉, 太多的不知所措