keyed audi

someone keyed my mom's audi right in our street last night. she just told me and i've seen the damage. it was quite extensive and probably requires a fair bit of paint repair. for the person responsible, i'd like to take this opportunity to.

laugh.

in.

your.

fucking.

face.

there are two reasons i can see that would have caused you to do such a thing:

1. your ego has been rather damaged because you've been raped by too many such cars and feel like a well-worn fuckdoll for cars such as those i drive. which means you drive a shitbox and/or you don't have the gonads for proper driving.

2. you can't afford a nice little euro. because the scratches were obviously inflicted by a sharp key, which aren't really common in good, proper cars anymore. which means you're rather financially challenged and the best you can do is that shitbox of yours.

in the first case you're a sad little fucktoy with no balls who has to scuttle around at night doing childish little things like scratch cars. in the second case you're a sad little scuttling fucktoy with no balls and no money. if you're both cases you're seriously fucked.

awww..

you know, i understand. it's your way of lashing out and releasing the pent-up anger at being raped by all those cars out there. i know because my main ride, depending on weather and mood, is a 40 year old car which wheezes at 45mph and i'm constantly cut by these people myself. but yeah i know, it can't possibly be the same because you can't possibly afford a classic and unlike you i'm not confined to a single car. you're more likely a chery or chana or something, constantly bullied by people who probably can't register what they've just raped. and can't be bothered in any case.

people like me, in other words.

lol! i mean awww..

we'll just drop the audi at a paint shop when we're free and it'll be good as new. hell, we might even change the colour, so thanks. on the other hand, you're still going to be a sad little fuck with no money and no balls, and will likely stay that way. i'm not kidding. if your only chance to get back at somebody's car is when its engine is off, you're really a pretty fucking sad person, and a fucking bad loser as well.

awww..

i've a parting shot for you.

up yours

oh well, cheer up. life is such.
for you at least.

one day i'll look back at this post and amuse myself again. lol!

rides of our grandfathers

a tiny shower and a slight breeze brought us to the old ford factory, where the surviving automobiles of the stone age gathered in the first celebration of the motoring heritage day.

in a bolshevik state, no less.

on display were the cars of our grandfathers. or the grandfathers of our cars. things our fathers were too young to drive and appreciate.

alfas. i like them in general.

it's a helmet.

for not getting out of the way, thou shalt looketh like a cock.

it works; the owner honked it for us.

yim's favourite. i don't share his sentiment though.

i laughed as i shot this car. it was so long i had to use maximum wide angle and stand at least five meters away.

this thing has crumple zones; those lights and horns crumple as they crash into you.

woo!

wee!

it's a fucking gondola.

flat exhaust.

funfact.

cat's paw exhaust.

oh my god. this is the ultimate merc. i love it.

original colour.

i'm starting to understand why my dad swears by mercs. too bad, though, that they don't build them like this anymore.

and this is the one i want to get most. the distinctive double-grilled triumph spitfire. i regret to say that this particular spitfire's owner must be a female and she must be very young.

because she'd splashed the whole car with crystals and totally destroyed the thing. and that black spot on the bonnet isn't dirt, it's a decal of a fly. good thing it's on a classic scheme then; not a lot of chances to go out and terrorise road users.

it was an inspiring trip. i don't mean i want to start collecting these things, but at least i had the chance to view these old tootmachines. anyway one morris is enough of a handful for now. i'm looking forward to the next motoring heritage day, if any. and of course the tuner exhibitions too. i swing both ways.

next, a silvia. not in the near future though.