triumph? which triumph?

the other day i fetched my brother to his friend's place. on the bike. however he wasn't exactly dressed for the occasion. t-shirt, baggy berms with strangling cuffs, and flip flops. yes. flip flops. good thing my father stepped in and commanded shoes unto his feet.

so anyway, he decided to bring some extra stuff on board, like a big sling bag, his lappie, a bottle, and his lunch. all this on top of the backpack i made him carry because i had an upcoming shoot and i couldn't carry it with him on board. well i had fun watching him try to balance everything.

the trip lasted about 20min but there was a slight drizzle. trist wasn't drenched because i let him wear my riding jacket. and the first thing he commented about it was, "it's bloody hot!"

the bike was really rear-heavy once he got on. and him sliding down the seat to claw on the tank every time i accelerated didn't help my fatherhood either. my lower body was jammed between the tank and his bag, which also managed to push my stomach forward, and i was only supporting my upper body with my wrists. good thing it was only 20min then.

but he enjoyed it to the point of asking me for private lessons, at which point i shook my head in my polite way of telling him to go to hell as the sudden vision of him flinging my bike into a tree invaded my head. *shudder*

he asked me why the bike was named after the bra brand and i confidently told him, without any background checks, that the british bike got that name first and the american bra followed.

today i did a quick check and discovered that it was true; Triumph the bike was formed in 1885 and triumph the bra was formed in 1886. bloody hell, that was fucking close. i got one thing wrong though. triumph the bra came from germany, not america.

he was shocked at the price until i pointed out that it was a euro bike and the japanese equivalents were a lot cheaper. then again there's no japanese equivalent. heh.

and damn all you ignorant retards who keep likening my bike to the bra company. you fucking imbeciles.

the idiot engineer

this is a response to this.

the mini was making a lot of funny noises from the engine and whenever i stood next to the door to get in or out my legs were blasted with hot air from the engine bay. so one day i popped a bonnet for a quick look.

horror of horrors, i found the coolant tank empty. that's dangerous unless you're a retard, especially considering the mini uses an all-aluminium engine which could result in a quick melt-down. the worst thing was i didn't even know how long it's been running without coolant. i promptly poured in all the coolant i had left in my possession and ordered some more just in case, so that's sorted.

the next horror was sitting right next to the coolant tank; a rubber hose bringing air into the turbo was cracked right next to said kit, and anything, i mean anything such as a water droplet or a slightly bigger dust particle, that touches a turbo while it's spinning will obliterate the fan blades which will in turn destroy half the sodding system. so i taped up the crack and took it out for a short drive, only to discover the crack had sucked a strip of the tape into the hose. okay, no more driving until the new part, which i've also already ordered, arrives.

so up the stands the mini went. i did a casual inspection under the engine and found the diff covered with some green liquid, which i can only assume is the diff oil or some other such crucial lubricant. i haven't brought that up with anybody in the family because they'll just naturally assume i'm wasting money.

oh by the way, the stands i was talking about were bought for the morris, and when i bought them i went for the higher weight rating ones because i figured any of the cars in the house could potentially get on them. so they're the 3-ton per pair ones which can carry the fucking merc tank. and to make it less taxing on the chassis i cut four strips of rubber from an old tyre and put them between the jack and car every time.

so one day the sister brother came back and started screeching that i took it off immediately, because she he was afraid the jacks would fuck up the chassis, like create four fucking concaves under the car. wow.

the wheels of a car are nearly the last thing they install on the assembly line, after the engine, interior, and all electrical components. how do you suppose they support the chassis while they're installing all the other stuff? what do you think they call those places "jack points" for? and don't you know that the jacks have a higher weight rating that the suspension system itself? what was your engineering degree for... oh wait, who am i talking about, of course she he wouldn't know. you don't want to take any chances? where were you when the servicing intervals came? where are you now when the car needs its owner? in a train, that's where. fix your sink? 吃屎吧!

so anyway i've followed the helpless finger-pointing squawking bitch brother's instructions and put the car down now and it's still waiting for the part to arrive. once that goes on i'll offer no more advice, time, effort, or resources on it to people who can't understand and won't listen. what's the point if all my efforts are viewed with doubt by people whose only concept of owning a car is to pump some petrol and drive it around? isn't it a fucking joke that i should base my standards on these people? the crappy suspensions can fucking break and the dry diff (i'll just assume the green stuff is diff oil) can explode and kill whoever's driving it at the time. it's just a roll of the dice now.