typhoon boulevard (& other stories)

got woken up by mum at 9am yesterday. she had to attend court in half an hour's time, n she needed me there as a translator. looked at the watch, decided the toy car wasn't gonna make it, n decided on the 407.

got up, brushed my teeth, changed, went downstairs, saw mum in the driver seat, pointed at her then at the passenger seat, got in the driver seat, n moved off.

*********************
the drive

encountered a mofo rider. never tot they still exist(or, at least, in the right lane). think this guy just got his class 2 license or bike, cuz he was traveling at 80 on the rightmost lane n he wasn't cutting any cars. now that's all very fine, but not when u're the one behind him, rushing to court, n the penalty for non-attendance is prolly to see ur own mum locked up.
so i gave the horn a little toot.

he looked over his shoulder, gave his head a little jerk, n slowed down to 70. let me reiterate: on the rightmost lane.
that was it.

me: cb!
mum: 喂! 不要罵人啦!

decided to ease off, considering the fact the he prolly just got his bike n was trying to get used to the machine. followed him all the way from amk to the underpass. finally saw an opening on the utterleft lane n took it. it was then that i realized that he really was a mofo. cuz he accelerated sharply n tried to cut me off.

me: 哇! CCB MOTHERFUCKER!! 幹你娘!!! 去吃屎啦!!!

but anyway, he din follow through with the idea of cutting me off, prolly cuz my kinetic energy was already enough to pulp him n i wasn't about to touch the brakes anytime soon.

now dun get me wrong. almost any bike can 切 almost any car, so drivers, dun get any funny ideas. basically it all just comes down to how big ur balls r n wat they're made of.

his were made of jelly, n definitely way more petite than mine, by a lot. so off i went. almost gave him the finger as i passed, but then i've got more important applications for my finger, like digging my nose, so screw it.
*********************

reached the place, parked, tore out a coupon, walked to the entrance, picked up an incoming call, n found out that tristan's lawyer friend had just deflected the court date.
all for nothing.

stayed there for breakfast.

me: mother, 今天如果中什麼 summon 要扣分, 你幫我 tah har..
mum: 嚇! 你等久一點!
me: 不是因為你, 我才不會駕那麼快. 所以你 tah.

on the way home we stopped at a dealer which displays all sorts of classics.


ubercool. love it. but costs over 100k.

------------------------------
previously while out for lunch

bekev: oei latinsnake, y ur car there?
latinsnake(looking around): huh? where? where?
bekev: on that lorry lor. arhahahahahaha!

found at a restaurant...

for real.

when i was sick it took 20 minutes to chew the stem half

leftovers from same meal. unprecedented.

went to mustafa with bekev to get some spices.

me: i think they dun open 24hrs anymore leh...
bekev: no la, they still do!
me: no la, sure or not?

when we reached...

bekev: bro, look there. can u tell me wat's written there?
me: err... sony?

lol lol

the ultimate in tinting: tinted meter

无敌!!!

yes, i'm guai lan.

door at lta. poetic.

gathering of brothers
mini gathering lolz

mini-pylon. felt like gulliver in lilliput
now that's really a little boys' wee wee room.

如果. 虫.

been two days now, n i have yet to see the end of this. the gum on the right side of my mouth is still swollen, n now it hurts just to munch on tofu.

went to the doctor yesterday, can't believe i almost begged him for a shot. yes, this is one tough son of a bitch little motherfucking bug. even more unbelievable is the fact that he refused my shot, saying it wud help bring the fever down, but not the flu.

while it's severe enough to encourage me to complete the whole course of medication, the down-side is i dun feel myself all the time like i'm dream-walking or what, the cough mixture's like a bloody drug n my driving goes to hell right after drinking it, n i can't taste anything cuz my tongue's numb from the combined effect of the flu n the lozenges.

just watched pulp fiction
i'm loving it!

get used to it, ladies.
unappealing as it may be, the alternative doesn't bear much consideration. like being a nun.

or u can of cos choose to be les-be-friends. n in the future when mankind has finally succeeded in cloning humans n we wudn't be needing each other we'll split and actually become 2 species/races. then we'd go colonize different worlds and never see each other again. of cos, the age-old practice of physical pleasures can then be totally avoided cuz when u wan little clones of urself running around all u gotta do is enter one of those cloning booths that's gonna be as abundant n convenient as telephone mobile phones r right now n drop a few dollars. well i wud have said a few cents, but then the gov wud prolly still be around, n more than likely as intellectually challenged as they r now, n wud of cos require the excessive payment of a levy commonly called 'tax' in order to sustain their unwanted existence. but i'm side-tracking. anyway, separation can happen when mankind has perfected cloning n space travel. then we'll pack all of u in sardine cans n blast the lot of u into outer space. of cos earth goes to us, u din suppose we're called MANkind for nothing, now did u?

woot, think the cough med's taking effect